“I am really troubled that men – strangers abused my body, it was heinous. Even when my heart was bleeding I had to smile. Although tormented and on the verge of death I really desired to live. Every moment I was seized by fear, I was annoyed by so many things and people and felt worthless. I did not want to perform services on the street, but I was forced to, I did not know how to defend myself from him. I felt, I feel impure.
I am too wounded, humiliated, too afraid of being disappointed in life again. Before I used to be a happy girl, had plans, ideas for life. I longed to start a family, have a husband, kids… now I don’t know, I am afraid, I don’t trust men. Many people say that true love shall cure it, so where is it? May it come soon… I handed my past into God’s hands and try not to go back to it. I also pray to my patron saint. I strive for forgiveness but it is not easy. I would like to be independent, be included into society. I have certain dreams, to live in the eternal happiness…“